Jason Matthew

Gladwish

Ailie's Brother

Died at the age of 26

My Jason was 26 years old when he hung himself. He had completely recovered from a serious auto accident and seemed perfectly ok.

But stress in his life was much harder for him to handle, and when difficulties developed, he could not cope. He must have felt this was the only way out. He would listen to no one. We all tried to help him and to save him from himself. He said to me.."Mom, you can take all the guns out of this house, but if I want to kill myself, I will. There are many other ways to do it". At that point I knew there was nothing else we could do. His suicide deeply hurt so many people, and the loneliness for his smiling face still hurts and will always hurt. His little girls look just like him, and I see his face in theirs all the time..

I miss you Jason. Please take care of Ailie for me. I know you are happy to see what a wonderful little girl she grew up to be. You must be very proud of her, as I know she was always proud of her big brother.. Love her and don't let her get lonely. Cody misses you both terribly, and we are staying close, trying to cope with the loss of both of you.

Mom

This poem was written for you Bonnie, (In memory of Jason)

The Creed of Love

Feel me .... for I am the sun that shimmers through the trees,
to warm your tender skin, on a cold winters day,
Feel me .... for I am the waters,
that cleanse your skin,
and make you thirst for the quench of life,
Feel me .... for I am the carpet of green grass,
the blades ... that wrap softness between your toes,
Feel me .... for I am the wind that blows gently against your temple,
leaving you to dream of having wings,
Feel me .... for I can climb over mountains and valley's,
and return ... crossing rivers,
oceans and seas,
Feel me .... for I can kiss you with a golden flame,
and make you yearn for more,
to warm both heart and soul,
Feel me .... for I bring joy, grace, and peace,caressing you,
with wisdom,dignity,and solitude,
Feel me .... I am both night and day, sun and rain,
moon and star,love and hope,
Feel me .... for I never grow tired,
I am everyday, every hour, every moment,
Feel me .... for I was here before you came, and will remain when you cease,
Feel me .... for I am the mighty, the ultimate, the power,
Feel me .... for I am the Son of Man,
the savior, the beginning, and the end,
the flame of light,
Feel me .... while I hold you!

Written by: Valerie Pearson

Jason - 3 Months Old

Jason - One Year

Cody 2 years - Jason 13 years

On prom night, Jason and his best friend

"Punkinhead" came to my work in the

limo to show off to mom!